My needs are: ‘Fakon’ and ‘proper’ chocolate

I’m currently living at home in Nowheresville (aka Burntwood, south Staffordshire) while seeking permanent work.

It’s the kind of small town where being a vegetarian is still considered to be a bit exotic and ‘weird’. I didn’t ask to be veggie, 4 days of food poisoning kinda ‘converted’ me, but now I would never go back to them lumps of dead animal flesh anyway.

However, I still have needs, like quorn bacon, especially when Dad cooks the real thing and then I want my ‘fakon’ fix too.

But, the flipping local supermarket isn’t selling it anymore. And I couldn’t find any dark chocolate in this town today either.

Grrrrrrrrr.

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